Finding The One
by AmieSombre
Summary: When the Potters are murdered Remus Assumes Harry is dead. He shuts himself away from the wizarding world, but when he wakes up suddenly to an ache in his heart, he might discover something shocking. Slash RL/HP


Remus woke up to his alarm clock.  
He groggily got out of bed after a few minutes and stumbled to his tiny kitchen to make coffee.  
He sat at the window of his crummy apartment and sighed. It had been 12 years since he moved to San Francisco, or more like ran away to. He felt guilty every day of his life for it too.  
Guilty for leaving the Order in the middle of battle. He couldn't stay though, the only people who ever really cared for him, who he could consider family, were now either dead, or a traitor working for Voldemort. He had simply given up. What left was there than to just try to live as happily as he could before his inevitable death. Lord Voldemort had won. There was no stopping him, and he'd rather not be there to witness helplessly as more of his friends are murdered..  
Remus didn't expect to be so lonely though. He had always been a reclusive, and quiet man, but in this big city, even though he had been here 12 years almost, he felt so isolated and lonely.  
He thought about returning everyday, but being gone so long, he felt he couldn't go back. How could he? He would only find the rest of his friends murdered, and the ones who were alive would hate him for abandoning them when they needed him most...

"What the hell am I going to do now.." Remus said to the empty room, while staring out the window at the brick of the building next to his.  
_"I could just go down to the book store I suppose" _  
Remus couldn't think of anything else to do that day since he recently was sacked from yet another job for being absent from a mandatory meeting, which just had to be scheduled on the day of the full moon.

Remus had a large sum of money that his parents had left him, in fact he was quite rich. But he would never touch it. He felt he didn't deserve it, so he settled for a crappy apartment and working in the muggle world at jobs he hated. It was also his form of self-punishment for leaving the wizarding world behind to be destroyed.

Remus spent his day reading, and scanning the paper for employment, all the while something in the pit of his stomach felt uneasy, but he assumed it was worry from being jobless and went about his day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Remus awoke at 1AM clutching his chest, cold sweat was trailing off his forehead. His heart beating abnormally, aching as if it had been hit dozens of times. Something was wrong. He knew it.  
He got up from his bed and fell to the ground instantly, his eyes glazed over and wild. It almost felt like he was transforming, but he knew that couldn't be it because it had only been 4 days since the full moon.

_"What the hell is happening to me...am I dying?" _He thought wildly.  
He sprang up from the ground and turned on the light. Something deep down inside him was exploding, as if something in the world had happened. Something big. Something worth looking into.  
He stared at his bed for a few brief moment s, lost in thought, before he rushed to his closet an put on some clothes. He then took out a dusty box from the top of his closet, and dug through it until he came across his wand. He charmed himself invisible, and apparated to London.

. . . . . . . . .  
Remus felt absolutely crazed as he appeared outside of a shabby looking pub. He looked to the left and right of him down the cold and wet street before he entered, his heart beating rapidly. He walked around the pub, and almost ran into a drunken wizard who had fallen off his chair in an attempt at getting to his feet. Remus looked around to see if anyone had noticed the man, and quickly pushed him to an empty corner of the noisy pub.

The wizard looked around wildly to see who had pushed him there and upon seeing no one stated happily "Ahh What is it that you want with me invisible Sir?"

"I want to know what 'He who must not be named' is doing..tell me" Said Remus, in a rather a quick and raspy voice.

"He who must not be named good sir?.. I have not heard him mentioned in ages! Everyone know that Harry Potter killed him all those years ago!" He said, merrily.

"Dead? He's dead?...but then what happened to Harry? Are James and Lily alive as well?" Said Remus in shock.

"No I'm afraid not, they died..No one really knows how come baby Harry was able to stop him. I don't know where he is, but I suppose ol' Dumbledore's got him safe in hiding somewhere.." Said the man, chuckling to himself.

_"Harry..not dead?..Voldemort was defeated?" _Remus leaned against the wall for support as he tried to take it all in. Had he run off to America for no reason at all?  
"_Poor Harry! I should have been there for him all those years! I should have taken him in, I should have done something! Who knows what Albus did with him? probably sent him to live with Lily's horrible excuse for a sister!" _His eyes welled up with tears of anger, anger at himself.

He suddenly got to his feet and walked out to the street.

_"I must find him, I must be there for him, make sure he's okay"_

With a determined expression on his face, he apparated to the neighborhood that The Dursley's lived in. He remembered Lily mentioning the area years ago because she had once asked him to stand guard at their house, fearing that Voldemort would send death eaters to her family.

He stood in the street of a quiet suburban neighborhood and looked back and forth at the identical houses.  
"_Goddamn it! Remember Remus! Remember which one it was, think!" _  
He knew it was on the street but his memory only went that far.

_"I guess I'll just walk down the street till I see him then!"_ He thought stubbornly.


End file.
